Reflections on Becoming a Grandfather

We celebrated Shabbat dinner while my daughter was in labor.

Looking around the table knowing in less than 24 hours my parents were about to become great grandparents, my son was about to become an uncle, my daughters were about to become aunts, my wife, who was in the delivery room, was about to become a grandmother and I was about to become a grandfather, I took a moment to try and take in the meaning that this little life already represented.

We didn’t yet know if the baby was a boy or a girl but already he was impacting so many lives.

I discovered a couple of decades before that the best way to grow my wisdom and skill as a father was to aim my parenting not at my kids but at my future grandchildren. Our entire family team treasured the baby that was about to emerge. We even named our real estate business Third Generation Properties to remind us that the assets my generation was building in partnership with my children’s generation were aimed at blessing the next generation. Our hope is that our kids will likewise partner with their kids, in the same way, to bless their future grandchildren (my great-grandchildren) and in this way, we’ll never make the too-common mistake of creating a terminal generation.

So I tried to imagine what it’s like to be this little baby boy about to be born. To have a vast team that has spent decades preparing for his arrival. Not unlike a prince being born into a kingdom where his life already holds boundless significance. Where he will never wonder who he is. Where he will never struggle with that “gift” Western culture seeks to curse every child with—the fake freedom to invent an entirely self-fabricated identity.

It reminded me of a quote from the famous tech investor and wisdom guru Naval: "The reality is life is a single-player game. You're born alone. You're going to die alone.”

Not necessarily.

This perspective is the tragedy of the hyper-individualism of our culture.

The reality is life is designed to be a family game. You are born into a family, you live an integrated life with your family and, unless something goes wrong, you will die surrounded by your family.

But Naval’s statement is true for so many children born today.

Too many are born into a world where they are seen as a burden instead of a blessing.

Too many children are born outside of the abundance of a multigenerational family waiting to receive them.

It’s for those children and the generations after them that we started Family Teams.

We must continue to work together to see more children born into loving, prepared multigenerational families.

It’s in these moments that I see the beauty of what God designed when he made the family.

But we must each choose to embrace the gift of family and steward it well.

Will you do this for your grandchildren?

Will you love them now, perhaps decades before they arrive? 

That’s the world we must envision and then with God’s help bring into being.